Me.

So this is how everybody looks like.
Selfish. Yeah.

I once, no I mean, I always have a thought that I am a considerate person. I always think of the others, like what they might need or if they are feeling comfortable. Like I am the good one.
But isn't everyone like that WHEN THEY ARE WITH STRANGERS OR PEOPLE THEY ARE NOT SO CLOSE?

I don't know. There's a face thing. Because when I am with my family, I don't think I act like the person I am when I am with others. I act like a d-bag, annoying kid but still insist I am a good person.

What's the point of writing this article anyway. I'm sorry if you are reading this, you'll probably wasting your time reading a person's none sense. And if you are curious I am writing with chinglish. That's why the spelling and grammar is in a mess. Are in a mess. Mass. Whatever.

I'm just so confused with life. And when I am confused, I indulge myself in the virtual reality/ Internet. When I am in there, I forget everything. No time limits, no burdens, no duties, but my reality and tomorrows remember those for me, and my body remembers health issue for me. Like now it's 12 at night and I am still typing this I-don't-know-about-life thing. As long as there's tomorrow, there's gonna be tons of problems to solve. There's hopes in tomorrow only for those who know where exactly they are aiming. I don't know what I can do. And I don't know what I am capable of. I see patterns of life, and whining is only one of them. So give me a break, don't try to teach me something which I have heard for million times.
I just need some courage. To break through this.
Ok It might seemed arrogant to say I see patterns of life, I think I should say, I might know what is in front of me, but I don't know what it exactly feels like. And this frightens me.

Oh dear lord it's been a long time since I write something. And so many things just popped up. So I miss the point. What I was about to say is, am such a d-bag (I didn't spell it out because I don't know how to spell it and I am so lazy to look up in the dictionary) (maybe it's good not to). One hour ago I was talking to my mom telling her that I know I need to look after my health and shape, but half an hour ago I was yelling at her, telling I will go to sleep as soon as I finish using the internet. And my dad, saying nothing to me, just looked at me, and walked upstairs and went to sleep.
At that moment I felt mixed. I was so confused, and so I want to run away and find a place to hide, and I ignore their caring and love. If they are strangers I wouldn't say things so straight forward and harm them. BECAUSE THEY WILL HATE ME. BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT MY FACE. WHAT A BITCH. THINKING ABOUT MYSELF ONLY. And in the end I discover that I am just a selfish person.
And because they are so close to me, they will need to suffer from so much me. So much me.
I'm a loser.

What am I writing, Jesus.
Just need a place to put trashes.
Sorry for your time. If there's anyone reading this.