我不能苟同！！！
為什麼要經過痛苦才會有快樂
誰規定的
不要跟我說就是這樣
一定有個理由
一定在某個宇宙之外有這麼一個地方
是不受這些東西的拘束
遠超過佛教的想像
我相信佛教所說的來世
但我對此非常嗤之以鼻
如果我不想要有下一世呢？
為什麼我一定要有？
這世界上的一切都讓我想死
我永遠也沒有辦法快樂
或是有安全感
或是被感覺需要
沒有存在的價值
我很想一死了之
然後再也不要轉世
沒意義阿
到底在幹嘛
2014年2月27日 星期四
2014年2月20日 星期四
Today
I just love to see the small smiling face :) my customer gave me in the email. :)
One of my German customers is so cute. I told him our supplier finished the goods that he needs urgently on time, and he told me "gut gemacht ^|^"
And my only customer from Austria is also cute. I can't tell, I just like him.
Although I meet my customers only on emails, and the topics are the same one or two things, I can slightly feel what kind of people they are from our conversation. Some people are cute, some people are serious and some people are always in a hurry. You could always imagine how they would look like and what kind of people they really are. And I like meeting so many kinds of people, it's interesting.
My Austrian customer never smile. I guessed he is the serious kind of people, but I think I should make an adjustment. I would say he is a gentleman. I haven't seen him send the kind of email with only one word "REMINDER", and I can always feel that he is calm and does things in order. Maybe he is a little cold but he is not rude. There was one time that I added "Have a nice Valentine's Day." at the end of the email, and he didn't give a reply (or maybe I shouldn't expect any reply?:)) unlike one of my German customer, he replied "Oooooouuuugh Valentine's Day...., thanks for reminding me ;-) ...." (What, does that hurt you? xD)
Work gives me so much pain and so much fun at the same time. I don't want people to consider me a childish person, but I guess I have to work harder on that. I think growing up might not be that bad. Being a child is good, you can see what you can do in the future, and growing up means you are on the way to it.
One of my German customers is so cute. I told him our supplier finished the goods that he needs urgently on time, and he told me "gut gemacht ^|^"
And my only customer from Austria is also cute. I can't tell, I just like him.
Although I meet my customers only on emails, and the topics are the same one or two things, I can slightly feel what kind of people they are from our conversation. Some people are cute, some people are serious and some people are always in a hurry. You could always imagine how they would look like and what kind of people they really are. And I like meeting so many kinds of people, it's interesting.
My Austrian customer never smile. I guessed he is the serious kind of people, but I think I should make an adjustment. I would say he is a gentleman. I haven't seen him send the kind of email with only one word "REMINDER", and I can always feel that he is calm and does things in order. Maybe he is a little cold but he is not rude. There was one time that I added "Have a nice Valentine's Day." at the end of the email, and he didn't give a reply (or maybe I shouldn't expect any reply?:)) unlike one of my German customer, he replied "Oooooouuuugh Valentine's Day...., thanks for reminding me ;-) ...." (What, does that hurt you? xD)
Work gives me so much pain and so much fun at the same time. I don't want people to consider me a childish person, but I guess I have to work harder on that. I think growing up might not be that bad. Being a child is good, you can see what you can do in the future, and growing up means you are on the way to it.
2014年2月19日 星期三
Subtitle
I just found that my first two articles are published AT THE SAME TIME yeah! I am a genius hahahahaha.
Since this place is kind of like my second diary, a place for me to think and a place for me to, well, practice my English writing, it will be bloody good to name it -
MIND PALACE yeah - !
Sherlock, just my type hahaha ;)
I love writing. Makes me think and see more clearly. I like myself when I am writing :)
Since this place is kind of like my second diary, a place for me to think and a place for me to, well, practice my English writing, it will be bloody good to name it -
MIND PALACE yeah - !
Sherlock, just my type hahaha ;)
I love writing. Makes me think and see more clearly. I like myself when I am writing :)
Germany
I hope you were just wondering around on the Internet and visited this blog by accident. Well, that one viewer from Germany worried me. It also made me a little mad because I planned to make this place a secret without being seen by anyone who knows or knew me, because in that case I won't be honest with myself when I am writing. I hope I was just worrying too much again this time.
/
I was chatting with my friend about studying in Germany last night. She was so exciting! So looking forward to study Art in Bremen, and she hopes that I can be her roommate. Haha I could if I can get the permission to enter University Hamburg. I really doubt it actually, and I am not sure about this myself because I just started searching for the information today!
Germany really is a place full of memories. But both good and bad ones. My only hope is that my present didn't disgrace some people's memories though they somehow did make mine disgraced. No body is to blame, just blame the fate I guess cause no one likes to be awkward. Fuck you fate.
But I was also thinking about going to Finland. It's crazy because the only reason is a person that I always adore - he is kinda my hero (European version :P)
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awwwwwww Teemu, Ihana! but I should be down to earth, shouldn't I :) let fantasy be fantasy and a fan girl be a fan girl :) I would definitely visit Turku someday.
/
I was chatting with my friend about studying in Germany last night. She was so exciting! So looking forward to study Art in Bremen, and she hopes that I can be her roommate. Haha I could if I can get the permission to enter University Hamburg. I really doubt it actually, and I am not sure about this myself because I just started searching for the information today!
Germany really is a place full of memories. But both good and bad ones. My only hope is that my present didn't disgrace some people's memories though they somehow did make mine disgraced. No body is to blame, just blame the fate I guess cause no one likes to be awkward. Fuck you fate.
But I was also thinking about going to Finland. It's crazy because the only reason is a person that I always adore - he is kinda my hero (European version :P)
awwwwwww Teemu, Ihana! but I should be down to earth, shouldn't I :) let fantasy be fantasy and a fan girl be a fan girl :) I would definitely visit Turku someday.
2014年2月10日 星期一
Me.
So this is how everybody looks like.
Selfish. Yeah.
I once, no I mean, I always have a thought that I am a considerate person. I always think of the others, like what they might need or if they are feeling comfortable. Like I am the good one.
But isn't everyone like that WHEN THEY ARE WITH STRANGERS OR PEOPLE THEY ARE NOT SO CLOSE?
I don't know. There's a face thing. Because when I am with my family, I don't think I act like the person I am when I am with others. I act like a d-bag, annoying kid but still insist I am a good person.
What's the point of writing this article anyway. I'm sorry if you are reading this, you'll probably wasting your time reading a person's none sense. And if you are curious I am writing with chinglish. That's why the spelling and grammar is in a mess. Are in a mess. Mass. Whatever.
I'm just so confused with life. And when I am confused, I indulge myself in the virtual reality/ Internet. When I am in there, I forget everything. No time limits, no burdens, no duties, but my reality and tomorrows remember those for me, and my body remembers health issue for me. Like now it's 12 at night and I am still typing this I-don't-know-about-life thing. As long as there's tomorrow, there's gonna be tons of problems to solve. There's hopes in tomorrow only for those who know where exactly they are aiming. I don't know what I can do. And I don't know what I am capable of. I see patterns of life, and whining is only one of them. So give me a break, don't try to teach me something which I have heard for million times.
I just need some courage. To break through this.
Ok It might seemed arrogant to say I see patterns of life, I think I should say, I might know what is in front of me, but I don't know what it exactly feels like. And this frightens me.
Oh dear lord it's been a long time since I write something. And so many things just popped up. So I miss the point. What I was about to say is, am such a d-bag (I didn't spell it out because I don't know how to spell it and I am so lazy to look up in the dictionary) (maybe it's good not to). One hour ago I was talking to my mom telling her that I know I need to look after my health and shape, but half an hour ago I was yelling at her, telling I will go to sleep as soon as I finish using the internet. And my dad, saying nothing to me, just looked at me, and walked upstairs and went to sleep.
At that moment I felt mixed. I was so confused, and so I want to run away and find a place to hide, and I ignore their caring and love. If they are strangers I wouldn't say things so straight forward and harm them. BECAUSE THEY WILL HATE ME. BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT MY FACE. WHAT A BITCH. THINKING ABOUT MYSELF ONLY. And in the end I discover that I am just a selfish person.
And because they are so close to me, they will need to suffer from so much me. So much me.
I'm a loser.
What am I writing, Jesus.
Just need a place to put trashes.
Sorry for your time. If there's anyone reading this.
Selfish. Yeah.
I once, no I mean, I always have a thought that I am a considerate person. I always think of the others, like what they might need or if they are feeling comfortable. Like I am the good one.
But isn't everyone like that WHEN THEY ARE WITH STRANGERS OR PEOPLE THEY ARE NOT SO CLOSE?
I don't know. There's a face thing. Because when I am with my family, I don't think I act like the person I am when I am with others. I act like a d-bag, annoying kid but still insist I am a good person.
What's the point of writing this article anyway. I'm sorry if you are reading this, you'll probably wasting your time reading a person's none sense. And if you are curious I am writing with chinglish. That's why the spelling and grammar is in a mess. Are in a mess. Mass. Whatever.
I'm just so confused with life. And when I am confused, I indulge myself in the virtual reality/ Internet. When I am in there, I forget everything. No time limits, no burdens, no duties, but my reality and tomorrows remember those for me, and my body remembers health issue for me. Like now it's 12 at night and I am still typing this I-don't-know-about-life thing. As long as there's tomorrow, there's gonna be tons of problems to solve. There's hopes in tomorrow only for those who know where exactly they are aiming. I don't know what I can do. And I don't know what I am capable of. I see patterns of life, and whining is only one of them. So give me a break, don't try to teach me something which I have heard for million times.
I just need some courage. To break through this.
Ok It might seemed arrogant to say I see patterns of life, I think I should say, I might know what is in front of me, but I don't know what it exactly feels like. And this frightens me.
Oh dear lord it's been a long time since I write something. And so many things just popped up. So I miss the point. What I was about to say is, am such a d-bag (I didn't spell it out because I don't know how to spell it and I am so lazy to look up in the dictionary) (maybe it's good not to). One hour ago I was talking to my mom telling her that I know I need to look after my health and shape, but half an hour ago I was yelling at her, telling I will go to sleep as soon as I finish using the internet. And my dad, saying nothing to me, just looked at me, and walked upstairs and went to sleep.
At that moment I felt mixed. I was so confused, and so I want to run away and find a place to hide, and I ignore their caring and love. If they are strangers I wouldn't say things so straight forward and harm them. BECAUSE THEY WILL HATE ME. BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT MY FACE. WHAT A BITCH. THINKING ABOUT MYSELF ONLY. And in the end I discover that I am just a selfish person.
And because they are so close to me, they will need to suffer from so much me. So much me.
I'm a loser.
What am I writing, Jesus.
Just need a place to put trashes.
Sorry for your time. If there's anyone reading this.
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